oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
