there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
