Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There's even glitter on my cock...
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