I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
