He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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