I don't usually arrange sex via text message
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
