My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
