goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i would punch a child for taco bell
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
