Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
