I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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