id be glad to
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We are two peas in an std pod
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
