Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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