Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
