think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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