is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
