Ambien. No doubt about it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
