How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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