If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize