I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
