I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You need a sexual gate keeper
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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