woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
