a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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