don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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