can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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