Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
