i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
