If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
