There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
