I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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