U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
