Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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