I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
