You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
