she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize