she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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