I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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