A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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