If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize