Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
