the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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