That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
