So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
