I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
