Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
