Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I AM VODKA MAN
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
