you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They are going to name an STD after you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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