the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
