Where is the hickey?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I am naked and annoyed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
