I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
