Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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