This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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