I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
