Me too!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Who died my cat blue again?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
