In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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