We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
