Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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