I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
