She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
