i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
