The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So much Jack, so little girl.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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