God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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