take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
