I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
