i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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